I feel like all the magic in the world, all the wonder has shriveled up and died, and there is no hope to regain it.  Its a bleak and banal look at life I hope no gamer, no medievalist, no one who has a heart that believes in the mystical and unknown will ever face.

I got screwed, in a place I felt hope, trust and eager joy at being in.  I got hurt by people Ive known for a decade and thought were my friends.  I hurt so much I cannot breathe.  And what makes me mad is they didnt just hurt me, they hurt someone who stood by my side for 10 years working towards the same goal.

theres more, theres lies, betrayal, and some oog (out of game) BS that went on but that doesnt matter.  Because they dont care.  They dont care that they did this and in their not caring something is happening.

I am getting angry.  Not the yell and scream angry that causes blood cell vessels to pop.  no.  This is the slow burning anger of vengeance, of a woman scorned, of a mother protecting her young.   I just renamed my post.  Phoenix Reborn.

I will take this pain, this anger, this hurt, this betrayal, and I will use this fuel to make alliancelarpnj the best it can ever be.  I will grow from the ashes of this pain something marvelous.  a wise woman told me:

Erica. I am sorry you are hurt, and feel the magic is gone from your life.  But I think that people love what you do in your chapter.  You provide magic for people who play your game and they love you.  Perhaps in making the magic for them, you can also find some of the magic those people who hurt you, took from you.

I will heed her advice.  I will make magic happen for every one of my players.  I will make them plot, and they will know that we find each of them special, precious, and important to us in a meaningful way.  I will be dedicated and steadfast, and I will remember this moment in time, and vow never to let one of my players ever feel like I do.  If I ever cause this pain in someone who seeks the magic, I will close the chapter.  No one should ever feel like this.  ever.

And I know I can do this, because of my staff.  My pillars of strength and support.  Some of the most decent and truest friends I have ever known in my entire life. I am blessed, and that love is what will keep my pain from twisting my heart into something dark and terrible.

Slowly, Im presenting more of a professional presence.  Its been hard however because Im maintaining my 9-5. running a larp AND trying to launch a medieval clothing business.  Which all means im doing 3 thinks… ok, but nothing spectacular.

I am excited about the new product I made, the bodice (which is featured in both pictures above!).  Once I get the corset pattern down to where Im happy with it, that will be a HUGE seller.  Very confident about that.

I find I like making Mens Garb more than womens, but its the women who do the shopping!  Im hoping to really gear up for halloween and make a presence then.  I plan on doing a facebook ad in early october to promote the store.  We will see how that goes.

I found a direct link to the Hamil Group who makes the faux leather I find at walmart.  Im going to work on setting up a wholesale account with them, and see if their bulk prices are cheaper than Walmart, and if they have more selection.  Heres to hoping.

Decisions have to be made for the benefit of the organization, such as keeping plot PG 14, maintaining a good code of conduct and upholding the scouting rules and regulations.

Sometimes you have to make hard decisions and not disclose the reasoning behind those decisions because to do so would harm innocent parties.  I came into such a decision after 10 years of running a larp.  And because of the sensitive nature behind the situation, I cannot fully disclose the whys of my decision.

Therefore it looks like the larp and my manegement team and the evil soul sucking demons of unfundom, because we cannot disclose the full reasons of our decision.

This is putting a damper on what should have been a joyous event for us: our tenth anniversary event.

In the entire history of my chapter, the only 2 times I have banned someone was for gross negligenct conduct of a criminal nature.  You would think people would realize if I asked someone not to come, it was for a damn good reason, and not something petty or stupid like a grudge.  But it wasnt a ban, because they did not get charged with a criminal activity.  It was a request, so world peace could ensue.

No there is no world peace, just the after effects of a holocaust of Larp war 3.  Where friendships have been rendered and souls have been shattered, and the bitter remains will be whats left of my FB friends after I commence with the great purge.

One day the truth will come out.  But it wont be because of me or my staff.  But when that truth comes out and people realize the gravity of the situation and the unenviable situation I was placed in.  They will realize the amount of pain I had to go through to make this decision, and the pain their lack of faith and ridicule cost me personally.

But I do stand by my decision.  And I do regret having to make it.

Its the Irish Dress pattern but instead of the full skirt and only having an opening in the front, it has what I call “battle panels” (3) as the skirt, and laces up the front and the sides, for a more custom fit.  And since there are 3 panels (and the back panel has a split), theres plenty of room to move around and fight.

Plus being open on 3 sides with lacing allows for a more customized fit.

Picture is included.

The above pretty much sums up how I feel somedays.  How life sucks you up, pulls you in and you can’t resist, you can’t fight it.  All you can do is hope someone else avenges the wrong happening in your life.

besides I like the picture.  But I will not make this a useless post.  I will share some usefull information… like my grommet vendor:

Siska.com, located in NJ.  3.50 for a gross of grommets.  You have to be a business and you have to do a minimum order of 75.00, but its so worth it.  I might post grommets for sale on the site and charge 7.00 a gross which is still cheaper than most corset suppliers.  They want 10-15 a gross which is just insane.

Again, thank you–it’s just what I needed and you really helped me out in a short span of time

-Sara

I am fortunate, there are two AMAZING fabric stores near me and on holidays they have 40-50% off sales.  Im also buying bulk wholesale supplies so all in all Im able to make good product with minimal cost.

The best money makers are the medieval slashed jerkins which are an alteration of an alter years pattern.  And oddly enough my best fabric comes from Walmart, although im working on contacting the distributor directly to get the pleather.

Tonight working on trying a new corset pattern.  Corsets sell the best on Etsy.  Hopefully I can make one which is nice, and cost effective.  Its ridiclious how expensive medieval clothes ARE.  I can buy a shirt in NYC for $5 with as tie, but a medieval shirt is $60??? yeah no.

I am to make nice clothes at reasonable prices.  Hopefully this will work.  Still hammering out the business plan et al.  But aside from my high hopes and dreams I do plan on posting some helpful and useful how tos based on things ive learned.

Like never follow the directions on a pattern.  Yheyre usually wrong.